Torah, Sag Harbor, Toldot, BFL

If I haven't already mentioned what BFL is, here is a link:
http://www.masaisrael.org/Masa/English/BFL+Seminar.htm
Masa Building Future Leaders (BFL) is a program to build leadership skills. We have gone on various trips and programs to look at different models of leadership and thinking about how to integrate them into our own lives.

Here is what I spent much of my afternoon on. The formatting got lost when I pasted from Word, but the gist should be clear.

What I’ve been up to. . .

Since I last saw you all on Yom Kippur, I have had a very busy few weeks. From Sag Harbor I went briefly back into Manhattan to spend one last Shabbat with my NY friends before going to my fiancee’s family on Long Island. There I spent the first days of Sukkot with my fiancee, my sister, and my fiancee’s parents. We had lovely meals in the Sukkah that my fiancee’s mom had beautifully decorated, with a structure I had helped build with my fiancee’s father earlier in the month. Immediately after Yom Tov was over, we went to JFK, which is conveniently located near my fiancee’s home town.

From JFK, I had a lovely El-Al flight where I managed not to figure out my video screen (I didn’t realize that bulkhead seats had any!) Also on that flight, I discovered that it is possible for a 15-month-old to kick the back of my seat and cry for virtually the entire flight while his parents can ignore the screams (and requests of passengers) and sleep. Thankfully, with the aid of music and exhaustion, I managed to sleep a little bit, too.

Once I managed to get to Israel, I celebrated Simchat Torah and have then enjoyed some time without holidays. It is incredibly exciting and beautiful to celebrate holidays for the month of Tishrei, but it is also wonderful to have the regularity of Shabbat and the rest of the week.

The schedule of the week in Israel is just a bit different than in the United States. Since there is not a Christian majority in Israel, Sunday is actually the first day of the week. For me, it is actually my busiest day—if I go to my extra halakha lecture, I am in class or traveling to class from 730AM to 11PM. At the same time, we do not have class on Friday, so we can prepare for Shabbat. Thursday we have tiyyulim (trips) around Israel, learning about history, culture, and appreciating the very pleasant weather here.

While we do desperately need rain, it is beautiful to have the sunshine and warm weather. It’s still regularly in the upper 70s (F) during the day.

Regarding my classes, I’m very much enjoying my learning. This year is focused on text skills, so we spend much of our time on Talmud and halakha (of course in Hebrew). Most all of my classes are taught in Hebrew. While I am certainly not fluent, I think that my Hebrew has definitely improved in the last few weeks. I hope that my progress over the next months will be even greater.

Enough about me, I’d like to share some thought about Parshat Toldot, this week’s parsha/Torah reading. It talks about the struggles of Jacob and Esau. From the very beginning of the parsha we find that Jacob and Esau do not get along. They fight in the womb. Gd tells Rebecca in 25:23 "Two nations are in your womb,/Two separate peoples shall issue from your body;/One people shall be mightier than the other,/And the older shall serve the younger."
There is a midrash that says that whenever Rebecca walked by a pagan temple, Esau started kicking and moving and whenever she walked by a synagogue, Jacob started to move. From the very beginning Esau and Jacob seemed to have very different paths!

In Bereshit Rabbah 63:12 there is a very interesting midrash, which my classmates and I studied this week. (My midrash professor teaches a midrash from the parsha each week.) [The translation comes from the Soncino Midrash.]

R. Phinehas said in R. Levi's name, and the Rabbis in R. Simon's name: You find that Abraham lived a hundred and seventy-five years. Isaac, one hundred and eighty. God withheld these five years from Abraham's life because Esau outraged a betrothed maiden and committed murder. Thus it says, AND ESAU CAME IN FROM THE FIELD, which means that he violated a betrothed maiden, as it says, But if the man find the damsel that is betrothed in the field, and the man take hold of her, and lie with her (Deut. XXII, 25); while AND HE WAS FAINT signifies that he committed murder, as in the verse, For my soul fainteth before the murderers (Jer. IV, 31).
R. Berekiah and R. Zakkai the elder said: He also committed theft, as you read, If thieves came to thee, if robbers (shodede) by night (Obad. I, 5). 1 Said the Holy One, blessed be He: ‘I made a promise to Abraham, assuring him, But thou shalt go to thy fathers in peace; thou shalt be buried in a good old age (Gen. XV, 15): is this a good old age when he sees his grandson practising idolatry, immorality, and murder! Better that he quit this world in peace! ' Hence it is written, For Thy loving-kindness is better than life (Ps. LXIII, 4).

We discover that Abraham lived a few years less than Isaac, since he did not want to see his grandson misbehave so grossly. Of course, this causes us to wonder, why would Isaac want to see his own son behave so terribly? The order is also strange. After accusing Esau of adultery (rape?) and murder, why would they then speak about theft? Is it not more efficient to make a case with the smaller crimes first, to make the theft seem integral rather than extraneous? Perhaps by using this order, it demonstrates just how awful Esau’s character is. Rape and murder are so trivial to him that they seem unimportant and thus can be listed first. The midrash seems to raise as many questions as it answers!
Overall, it seems the rabbis are very concerned about how our ancestors appeared. By condemning Esau, by demonstrating his vile character, Jacob’s actions seem justifiable. He simply received the blessing that Gd promised to his mother—again, “Two nations are in your womb,/Two separate peoples shall issue from your body;
One people shall be mightier than the other,/And the older shall serve the younger."
Even if Jacob acts at best callously and at worst terribly when he buys his brother’s birthright, he is doing the right thing if he is fulfilling Gd’s promise. When Rebecca and Jacob work together to get Isaac’s blessing, again tricking Esau, they are acting with Gd’s blessing, AND ensuring that Esau does not receive an undeserved blessing. If Esau did all of these miserable things, how could he possibly be our ancestor? It would not be fit for us to descend from him. Jacob and Rebecca HAD to ensure that Jacob received the blessing, to ensure that from him the Jewish people would eventually come.
At the same time, was Esau really that bad? He certainly was not an angel. He is a hunter and trapper (which violates Jewish law); he intermarries with the enemies of the Jewish people; after losing his blessing, he plots and attempts to kill his brother (which seems like a bit of an overreaction to the modern reader). Were these actions not enough to demonstrate his negative character? It seems not. If we knew only of the actions in the Torah, we would probably not love Esau, but we would still be uncomfortable with Jacob’s actions. Yet, after reading this midrash, we might be more comfortable. In this way, the rabbis ensure that we are proud of our ancestors. By sharing the stories of Esau’s misdeeds and Jacob’s virtuous character, we might be more excited about our ancestor, our forefather.
I would like to offer another possibility. The midrash demonstrates our concern about the actions of Jacob. We are glad that Gd’s prophecies were fulfilled; we are glad that we are Jewish, yet we are uncomfortable with the fact that our ancestors were imperfect, that they, too can make bad choices. They act in their own interests and even hurt others in the process. They demonstrate through their trials and tribulations that even those who Gd spoke to directly had difficult lives.
Seeing our ancestors make mistakes may actually be a good thing. It reminds us that we are not perfect, that even after Yom Kippur, we still have more tshuva, more repenting to do—to Gd, to our friends, and even to ourselves. In this parsha; in this midrash, we are encouraged to give ourselves a little more credit. We are reminded that even as we are not perfect, neither were our ancestors.
In the next weeks we will read more about Jacob and his sons. We will discover that Jacob’s trickery comes back to him. The mistakes his parents made (that Isaac favored Esau and Rebecca favored Jacob) are repeated in his actions (Jacob favors Joseph, causing jealousy and Joseph’s sale into slavery—after his brother’s decided not to kill him). Yet these same people do great things, Joseph becomes a great leader in Egypt, allowing him to save his brothers when famine returns to Israel. With self-awareness, with self-forgiveness, with hard work, we too can do great things. Perhaps we’ll make mistakes, but we, too can atone and continue onward and upward—always learning and growing.

May the coming weeks continue to be filled with love, Torah, and good health.

Shabbat Shalom.